Fri, Jan 27 2006

It's About More Than A Book

I don't suppose there would be all this speculation about the motivation behind Oprah Winfrey's attitude toward James Frey and his book publisher if she wasn't in a position of power and considerable influence and if she had not worked hard to attain a financial empire of her own. The fact is that, at one time or another, we've each trusted and admired some person and then found out that the person deceived us. They might have been afraid or insecure or neurotic or a pathological liar. But we wanted to believe them and have something good come from that trust, and sometimes we still seek that good thing long after we've had to admit that our trust in them was misplaced. Our own confidence takes a hit as we attempt to regain our equilibrium and get on with life. We question our own judgment in allowing this person to dupe us and to steal the best of what we have to give as a supportive human being. Getting over it is a process much like grief. We grieve for what we thought we shared with this person and we search for ways to validate our own choice to have trusted them in the first place. No one likes to be made a fool of.

The difference for Ms. Winfrey's situation is that her support of the person was very public and carried over into her business life. That probably magnifies her own embarrassment as she realizes the rippling implications of her misplaced trust.

I would still maintain that, as adults, erring on the side of trust takes us farther in life than being overly self-protective and distrusting. As for the author in this particular case, all I can reason is that there comes that moment when we each have to look into a mirror and accept the core of who we really are. In those moments I'd much rather be looking into the eyes of the one who was lied to than the one who did the lying.

posted at: 07:01 | category: /Writing Life | link to this entry