Write Lightning is a blog from writer Deb Thompson.
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Sun, Apr 04 2004

Milk, Milk, The Wonderful Drink...

I have a great affection for the literature and history of the American Old West. Tales of cattle barons, railroad executives, outlaws and lawmen make a relatively short period of time in U. S. history burst with drama.

In present-day 2004, when the term branding rarely refers to a hot iron being applied to tender flesh (except perhaps during tax season) terms like stagecoach robbers and cattle-rustlers are rarely heard. But, lest you think the drama has gone completely out of cattle ranching and dairy farming, let me give you a recipe that mixes up the modern-day equivalent of a range war. You take one part dairy industry, one-part bean industry, and throw a little "government agency" into the mix, and you've got a bull by the horns. This tale even has a little modern-day R-rated talk to spice up the plot. We've got mammary glands at the heart of the matter here, folks. Honest-to-goodness, full-swinging milk jugs.

And therein lies the problem. It seems the dairy farmers don't like the idea that the soybean industry is referring to the liquid produced from soybeans as "milk". The dairy farmers want the FDA to force the soybean folks to use some other word besides "milk" on their food product labels.

I guess they think we poor folk will confuse the liquid stuff that comes from dairy cows' mammary glands with the liquid stuff that comes from soybean processing. They may have a point. They've confused us a bit themselves. The highly popular "Got Milk?" slogan encourages the use of cow's milk, but there are other kinds of milk--goat milk, sheep milk, buffalo milk and rat milk (which has lots more protein than cow's milk). Should we demand that the dairy industry define their milk product as (for instance) Genuine Dairy Holstein Milk?

And how do we know those happy California cows we see on TV are really Holsteins? What if they're imposters--just a bunch of busty buffalo babes wearing Holstein hides?

I say shame on the dairy folks. How can an industry that puts out products with names like Cheez Whiz fuss about anybody else's choice of package wording? Would a soybean whiz? I think not.

posted at: 15:40 | category: /Food | link to this entry

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And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
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Stealin' copy is as bad as horse-thievin'
and cattle rustlin'! Lightning may strike
such varmints when they least expect it!