Thu, Feb 26 2004

How Not To Sell Me A Sandwich That Isn't Very Good Anyway

I have no idea what the marketing folks at Quiznos Sub were thinking when they produced and began airing their latest commercials. Those strange little puppets with voices that would crack cheap stemware make me reach for the mute button on the remote so quickly I almost hurt myself. What are those critters supposed to be--mutant chipmunks? Hamsters with goiter? And is the bread so crunchy it broke their upper teeth? I have no idea what type of customer this company was trying to attract, but I know I'm not part of the target market. Actually, I tried their food and didn't care for it anyway. Those big sandwiches they show on their site are not indicative of the puny things I got from the local Quizno Sub. I had to hunt for the filling. I like the idea of the toasty bread, but if they're selling toast they should just say so and show us a picture of toast. Where can I go to get one of their plump sandwiches as pictured on the web site?

Maybe they'll actually sell the puppets as a promotion at some point. I'd buy some of those, if only to own a perfect example of scary advertising. But if I want a chain-restaurant sub sandwich, I'm going to Togo's or Subway. And when are we going to get a local place that sells these? The good ones have paper-thin slices of tender steak with grilled bell peppers and onions, and melted cheese that is smoother than silk. And before you bite into one, you have to stuff napkins in your sleeves and hold your elbows up in the air or else you'll be wearing the juices.

Sorry. I really must learn to eat and then blog.

posted at: 10:12 | category: /Food | link to this entry